Swinbrook Village

Today, as I walked back home with Quill, I happened upon Karen from the local Spar shop who was delivering provisions to the Village Hall for tomorrow's Bingo Bash.

Nosey me had a look inside the van and saw multi packs of crisps etc, but was taken aback by several packs of Sugar Puffs.

"Are they for the Bingo?", I ask. "Yes", came the reply.

Well if they work after the no smoking laws came in, it's good enough for me. Out go the expensive Niquitin Lozenges and in come the Sugar Puffs.

I am assuming that is what they are for because I can't imagine someone calling 'house' with a spoonful of milk and puffs in their gob.

By the way, you lot, could you stop leaving your empty fag packets strewn by the village green and just put them in the bin beside the village hall door, there's a good darlings.

"Wert shell weee dooooo?", says a 12 year old BBC commissioning twat, "The Apprentice isn't due back until next season and finding more than twelve useless pratts is getting harder since every channel (except 5) has taken to presenting most of the nation's imbeciles."

"Weeee weeel get Rrrraymond Blonk to preeetend eee izzz Alain Shooooger and eee izzzz finding zeee next coooolinary ontrepooooner to replaze Eston Bloomingnuisance", rrepiliezzzz (oops, replies) the office cleaner.

Gooood lerrrk with your programmz, Rrrrraymond (though I doubt you need it - you've been paid already). There was nothing on the other side and my Mother thought she was watching a cookery show.