Swinbrook Village

Out, is my first suggestion, and head East from the Swan, or a little higher up, along the footpath that takes you by the unspoilt banks of the Windrush (no Conservation area with cattle trodden banks, this) to the little stretch of road that leads you into Asthall.

Call in at the Maytime Inn for a glass of red (£4.25) and home cooked ham sandwich (£4.95). I know, that's nearly a tenner all together, but it comes with a tasty salad and a welcoming smile for your dog. I declare, on a hot day in their back garden, you'd think you were on Key Biscayne. It is very relaxed.

I believe this walk is along the old Akeman street and there's not a negative sign in sight.

Walk West out of Swinbrook and, if you can avoid confrontations with retired police officers in the Churchyard, you'll be greeted by a barrage of pop rivetted signs telling you all the things that their Farmerships say you can't do. Once you've seen the tackily preserved Widford Church, you can admire the toilet blue painted woodwork of Widford Manor Farm and the Letraset adorned aluminum tray inviting you to to rent a cottage there. It states the views are "amazing", though it beats me how anyone can get a thrill out of discarded cookers and laden skips.

Walk up towards it and don't be put off by the fact that the little footpath to your right has been disguised and camouflaged. Walk through the gate next to it, leap over the stile and you can admire the view from the bottom of their garden overlooking the small lake, to the South, in the real Conservation area. Don't forget that the law allows you to stop and take refreshment whilst admiring the view (I suppose that would include a picnic). If you turn to face North, I think you can see into the bathroom. 

I used to pass by a friendly young couple with two beautiful dogs on this route. She (and I don't know why) would walk with a crutch. I haven't seen them again since the field gate was padlocked…..

Things happen in 3's.

This morning Quill and I are walking past that lonely house on the footpath between Swinbrook & Widford. The one from which come distressed howls of a dog that's left on its own quite often. A nice dog, she once jumped the wall and Quill and I rounded her up and I lifted her back over to the grateful owner.

Anyway, Quill's found a stick to carry with her and turns into the muddy track that leads to the river where she loves to drink and generally get wet. Even the Swans know her by now.

"Excuse me", I hear from the garden of the house.

By now I have made it a point to keep my eyes straight ahead and ignore anyone I should happen upon when I'm out of the safety of my home.

"Excuse me", louder this time. I should have kept on walking and made him follow me through the dung filled mud, but I turned to him. (more…)

What do you do as you're walking on the Church footpath with your dog, on your way to the fields of Widford, and you spot a person solemnly standing in the distance at a gravestone with newly laid flowers?

Well, if you're me, you tread as silently as possible on the gravel path in the hope that you won't intrude on their private moment and just make your way to the exit gate.

So I thought until this, soon to be appparent, obnoxious lout turned around and had a go at me about Quill who was lagging behind and having a quiet pee on the grass.

I can't remember exactly what he said but it was something to the effect that I shouldn't let my dog pee in a churchyard by the gravestones (If he's that clever, maybe he could get her to eat properly in the kitchen instead of remember something from her past and worrying about treading on quarry tiles). (more…)

Unlike an English County Court (I'm referring to Slough) where you think you have a good case and find that the newly appointed District Judge doesn't like the cut of your cloth and then screws you to the wall, things started out badly at the New Inn but did get better.

My brother had turned up from London on a Friday afternoon and suggested we go out to eat. I suggested trying the newly refurbished New Inn as I wanted to see what it was made of after the lengthy works carried out and I'd heard that the food was very good.

We arrived, unannounced  and without a booking, at 7.05pm and found a few tables occupied but plenty of tables available. I approached the bar and found a gaggle of staff psyching up like an American football team for the evening's event.

I asked for a table for three and was met with the inevitable, "Have you booked?". (more…)